Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
