I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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