I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Floor bacon is actually really good
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
