While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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