You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
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Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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