Porn is love you can see.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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