we have pet lesbian snakes
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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