Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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