Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
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i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
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Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared