I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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