We're facebook friends in real life
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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