I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
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Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
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Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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