Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Will exercising make me less horny?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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