Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
