Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
