I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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