Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother