whats a polygalesbian?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just invented taco cereal.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes