Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi