ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
