I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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