Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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