I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
