Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
