this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
this boner is exhausting
It's just like the Real World with babies
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
