If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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