Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
