So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
