i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize