Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
