i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
