He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
