I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
