I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
