and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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