Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
