You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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