He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
