i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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