there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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