New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
