dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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