They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just pee around me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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