I could have mohawked her pubes.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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