Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize