Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Randomize
