If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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