You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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