getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
