Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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