Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
