I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
