Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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