"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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