I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
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just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
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We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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