You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize