Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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