You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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