I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
whose parrot is this?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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