I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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