spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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